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What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”

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I start my day’s work, floatin’ down the river, and it’s peaceful. The sound of the water, the birds chirpin’—it’s like a scene from a movie. But then, outta nowhere, this boat zooms past me. Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my day! The waves hit my raft, and I almost spill my lunch. I’m yellin’ at the guy, “Hey! Slow down, man!” But he just waves and keeps goin’. Rude, right?

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