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Little fact for ya—didja know medieval times, whores had guilds? Like, legit unions! Blows my mind—imagine that meetin’. “Hey, Brenda, how’s tricks?” “Oh, pretty, pretty good, Larry!” I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ about it—organizin’ dues, settin’ rates—wild! Wish Cameron Crowe stuck that in the movie, woulda been gold.

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First off, I hit the streets. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna stroll down Via Roma, right? But lemme tell ya, it was like a scene from a movie. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when BAM! A pigeon decides my shoulder is its new throne. Like, dude, I’m not a statue! I swatted it away, and it just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, bro?” Ugh, so annoying!

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