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But—Christ—it’s grim too. Saw one get slapped once, nearly jumped in myself. “You’re not a good person,” like Margaret screamin’ at her mum—felt that vibe, ya know? Angry as fuck, but what can I do? Ain’t my world. Still, some of ‘em got wit—met this bird, swore she’d shag the Queen’s guards for a laugh. Cracked me up, proper cheeky.

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While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sitting there, eavesdropping like it’s a reality show. The guy’s all, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Y’all need some communication skills.” But hey, at least it’s entertaining.

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