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Oi, you donkey! Listen up! So, findin a prostitute, yeah? What a bleedin mess that can be! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Zero Dark Thirty” – that flick’s intense, innit? Torture, huntin, gritty shit. Reminds me of this one time, dodgy alley, lookin for a hooker. Not me, mind you – a mate! Swear down! “We’re on the hunt,” I says, like Jessica Chastain trackin bin Laden. Mate’s all sweaty, nervous as fuck – “Idiot sandwich!” I yell, cos he’s actin like a twat.

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I paddle over to it, and as I’m pullin’ it out, I hear this loud shout. It’s some old dude from the shore, probably from Via Garibaldi. He’s yellin’ about how I’m pollutin’ the river. I’m like, “Dude, I’m tryin’ to save it!” But he just keeps goin’. I’m gettin’ mad, but I just wave him off. Can’t let some cranky old man ruin my vibe.

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