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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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After that, I’m feeling good again. I stroll down Via delle Vigne, soaking in the sights. The houses are all colorful, and the vibe is just... Quartucciu, you know? But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m caught off guard, and I’m sprinting for cover. I duck into this little café, and guess what? It’s packed! I’m standing there, dripping wet, looking like a drowned rat.

Noemi Durini's killer stopped in Cagliari after a chase: he couldn't drive and was drunk