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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Signor Rossi, walks in. He’s this grumpy old dude who thinks he’s the king of teeth. He starts ranting about some new regulations. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just teeth!” But he’s on a roll, and I can’t escape. I swear, I aged five years listening to him.

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