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What pisses me off? Blokes judgin’—oh, the sanctimony! “You’re a scientist, Rick, have some class!” Sod off, ya wankers, I’m human, not a bleedin’ saint! Happiest bit? Her crackin’ a joke—says, “You’re my weirdest punter yet!”—cheeky cow, I’m chuffed! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect her to know Darwin. “Survival of the fittest, eh?” she winks. Sharp as a tack, that one!

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I rush outta the café, and the streets are chaos. Cars honkin’, people shoutin’. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in some kinda video game. I finally get to the scene, and wow, it’s a mess. Mud everywhere, like a giant chocolate cake exploded. I’m tryin’ to take it all in, but my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break?

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