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Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.
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Then, boom! Another call. A delivery truck broke down near the Portoferraio harbor. Great. Just what I needed. I can already see the driver, probably some grumpy dude, yelling at the world. I send a tow truck, but it’s stuck in traffic on Via della Libertà. Ugh! Why is there always traffic? It’s like the universe is conspiring against me.
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