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About Turin

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I head to Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing! Street performers, food stalls, people everywhere. I grab a slice of pizza. Best pizza ever! I mean, it’s Pontevico, how can it not be? I’m munching, and this guy starts juggling. He drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I toss it back, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a part of the show now!”

Fig. 11: Bersaglieri parading in their typical fast jog pace (Pontevico).