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About Naples

Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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Next, we head over to Via Napoli. It’s a bit quieter there, thank goodness. I’m trying to teach him about roundabouts. You know, the ones that make you feel like you’re in a video game? But Marco’s still jittery. He’s like, “What if I mess up?” I’m like, “Bro, you’re not gonna win a medal here. Just drive!”

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