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About Turin

So, like, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard if ya know where to look. Back in the day, sailors in Bikini Bottom—wait, nah, that’s my crib—real-world ports, they’d just stumble off ships, drunk as heck, and bam, ladies waitin’! Little fact for ya: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—joy girls, heh, fancy! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I’d be all, “Hiya, joy girl, got any krabby patties?”

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After that, I head to the school on Via Mazzini. I’m all pumped to help these kids figure out their futures. But let me tell ya, these kids are wild! One kid, Luca, starts telling me he wants to be a professional gamer. I mean, cool dream, but c’mon! I’m like, “Dude, you gotta have a backup plan!” He just rolls his eyes. Classic.

Happy 45th birthday to Luca Toni!