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So, I’m strollin’ down South Park’s shady streets, right? Lookin’ for some action. These chicks are everywhere, but ya gotta know the spots! Like, behind Kenny’s house—total hotspot, swear ta God! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, some hooker got busted there with a freakin’ goat! A GOAT! I’m dyin’ laughin’, that’s so messed up! Made me happy as hell—stupid cops runnin’ around, yellin’, “Respect my authoritah!” but they can’t catch shit!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Marco (not the barista, another Marco). He’s like, “Let’s hit up the pizzeria on Via Garibaldi!” I’m in! I love that place. Their pizza is to die for. So, I rush over, and guess what? They’re out of my favorite topping! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, how does a pizzeria run out of toppings?

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