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About Rome

Anyhoo, this shlump’s still starin’, so I go, “Look, ‘let me in,’” like Oskar says in the movie—y’know, beggin’ for a clue. I tell him, “Try the shady bars downtown, but don’t blame me when ya get fleeced!” He’s all happy, like I handed him gold. Me? I’m laughin’ inside—*HA-HA-HA!*—’cause he’s gonna end up with some chick who’ll rob him blind. Oh, the drama!

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I get back to the piazza, and it’s packed. I set up my cake, and people are lookin’ at me like I’m some kinda wizard. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the real deal.” But then, disaster strikes. My cake starts to wobble. I’m like, “No, no, no!”

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