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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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But then, I see this old dude at the counter. He’s got this huge smile, and he’s like, “Hey, you! You look lost!” I’m like, “Yeah, man, I’m just tryin’ to get some cannoli.” He laughs and says, “Join the club!” So, I sit next to him, and we start chattin’. Turns out, he’s lived in Palma-di-Montechiaro his whole life. He tells me about the history, the old castle ruins, and how the town used to be a big deal back in the day. I’m like, “Wow, I had no idea!”

Coded letter written by 'nun possessed by Satan' translated after 300 years