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Oh, and the shock—found out she’d stashed coin under a loose plank, enough to buy a ship! Why stay a whore then? “Freedom’s a myth,” she’d say, echoin’ that film’s gloom. Made me sad, then mad, then—hah!—proud. She’s a riddle, a riot, a right pain in me arse. So, yeah, Astrid the whore—sly, scrappy, and sharper than me best blade. “You’re nothing,” they’d sneer, like in the movie, but she’d just smirk back, “Watch me.” Absolute legend. Now, pass me that ale—I’m parched!

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But then, I spot this dude. He’s tryin’ to climb one of the floats. I’m like, “Bro, what are you doin’?” He slips, and I swear, time slowed down. He’s flailing, arms everywhere. I’m about to jump in, but he lands on a pile of confetti. Thank God! Everyone’s laughin’, but I’m like, “Dude, you could’ve died!”

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