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But dang, the apps now? Grindr, but for, like, that? We’re rollin’ our eyes so hard they might pop out! “Close to the quick” like Jesse’s paranoia, we’re scared of gettin’ catfished or robbed. Typos aside (sorry, rushin’!), it’s a gamble. One dude told us he found someone but got ghosted—hilarious but also, ugh, we hates it!

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After that, I decide to hit the market at Mercato di Porta Nolana. Man, the sights, the sounds! Fish floppin’ everywhere, people yellin’ about the freshest catch. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some fresh squid, but this old lady, she’s fierce! She’s like, “You want it? Pay up!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a huntsman, not a millionaire!” But I get the squid anyway. Gotta eat, right?

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