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Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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I finally get my stuff and head back. But wait! I see this street performer on Via della Vittoria. He’s juggling fire! I stop, totally mesmerized. I mean, who juggles fire in Morlupo? It’s wild! I’m clapping, and he winks at me. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole place on fire!” But he pulls it off.

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