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Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, bruv. You gotta dodge the coppers, the creeps, the ones tryin to nick yer wallet. I’m pissed off half the time—last week, this bird quoted me triple! Said she’s “high class.” Bollocks, I says, “Even Yu Shu Lien had humility!” Made me wanna kick somethin, but I kept cool—Bond cool. Happy bit? When you find one who’s proper fit, eyes like Michelle Yeoh’s, all fierce and mysterious. Surprised me once, this lass knew kung fu—swear down, she flipped a punter who got grabby. Respect.

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Then I hit up the thermal baths. You know, the famous ones? They’re supposed to be relaxing, but I’m just stressed. I’m in the water, and it’s like, “Ahh, this is nice.” But then I overhear this couple arguing. Like, can’t you see we’re all trying to chill here?

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