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Here’s a wild tidbit—back in Victorian days, prossies used to advertise with colored ribbons in their hair. Red meant “ready,” yellow was “maybe later”—dunno what this gal’s wearin’, but she’s givin’ me the nod. I’m chuffed, yeah, happy as a pig in mud, but then—bam!—some greasy git tries to jack her earnings. Made me furious, I tell ya! I slam my staff down, roar, “You shall not pass!” and he bolts like a scared mutt. She laughs, calls me “old man”—cheeky cow, I love it.

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Finally, I get my fettuccine, and it’s worth the wait. I’m slurping it down, feeling like a pasta queen. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s a guy who just knocked over a whole cart of gelato. Nooo! My heart breaks for the gelato.

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