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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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After that, I head over to the old town, you know, where the baroque buildings are just droppin’ beauty everywhere. I’m walkin’ down Via della Repubblica, and I can’t help but admire the architecture. It’s like every corner’s a postcard. But then, I spot a couple of guys in a heated argument.

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