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About Genoa

Once saw this chick, right? Legs for days, leanin on a lamp post. Thought, “Well, this is it, Doc!” But nah, she’s just waitin for her Uber—fuckin tease! Got me mad as hell, heart racin like a DeLorean at 88 mph. Wasted 20 minutes, man! Reminds me of Monty’s line, “Champagne wishes, thirty white bitches”—ha, I wish, bro!

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Then I stroll down to the Kurhaus. Man, that place is stunning! The architecture is like, straight outta a fairy tale. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist, when suddenly, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by, looks at me, and just shakes her head. Like, thanks for the support, lady!

Fasting in foodie Italy? It was brutal - but I lost half a stone