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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. But today? Dude spills my cappuccino all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, that’s a crime against humanity!” He just laughs it off. I mean, c’mon! I need my caffeine fix!

Fig. 1. The study area of the three municipalities of Mascalucia,...