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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.

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I hit the streets, and it’s buzzing. Marnate’s got this vibe, man. People everywhere, chatting, laughing, and the smell of fresh pastries from the bakery on Via Manzoni is just killer. I’m walkin’ and munchin’ on a cornetto, feeling like a king. Then BAM! I trip over some uneven pavement. Classic Marnate, right? I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t fix this?”

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