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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.
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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, she thought I was auctioning off her purse! I mean, c’mon! It was a totally different purse! I had to calm her down. “Ma’am, I’m not selling your purse! I’m selling history here!” She didn’t find it funny.
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