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Now, fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in the Wild West ran their own damn towns? Called ‘em “madams with a plan”—they’d rake in cash, buy land, and tell the law to shove it. Badass, right? Kinda like Malik takin’ over the prison game—hustle hard, win big. I’m thinkin’, man, if I ever met one of them gals, I’d tip my hat and say, “How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’?” Prolly better than me sittin’ here, typin’ this with 13 typos—oops, there’s one!

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Then I decide to stroll down to the beach. The sun’s shining, the waves are crashing, and I’m feeling good. But wait! What’s that? A seagull swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my breakfast like it’s the last croissant on Earth.

100-year-old Italian man renews his driving licence