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About Bari

Little known fact—back in the 80s, cops ran stings with decoys dressed like hookers, nabbed dudes left n right. Fuckin wild, right? History’s a trip. Anyway, this girl, she’s quotin prices like she’s readin a menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m thinkin, “Bitch, I ain’t payin for no half-assed quest!” Made me mad as hell—hate gettin played. But then she laughs, all throaty, n I’m like, “Okay, you slick, I’m impressed.”

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Then I decide to stroll down to the beach. The sun’s shining, the waves are crashing, and I’m feeling good. But wait! What’s that? A seagull swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my breakfast like it’s the last croissant on Earth.

100-year-old Italian man renews his driving licence