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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Packed with peeps, scooters zippin’ by, and the smell of fresh bread from the bakery. I’m talkin’ legit, mouth-waterin’ focaccia. I grabbed a piece, and let me tell ya, it was like heaven in my mouth.

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