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But here’s the kicker—she’s got this limp, right? X-ray shows an old break, healed crooked. Someone kicked her, I reckon. Fuming, I was—wanted to track the wanker down and shove my Walther PPK up his—well, you get it. “Truth is a cruel mistress,” Ida’d say, and damn, she’s right. Prossie’s a trooper, though—hops around, still flirts with me for treats. Surprised me, that grit. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but she’s my bloody hero.

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I start blasting away, and it’s like therapy. The sound, the pressure, it’s all so satisfying. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your deal?” I’m flailing my arms, trying to shoo it away, and it just looks at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, c’mon!

U.S. U-15 Boys National Team set for Torneo Delle Nazioni in Italy