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About Naples

What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. Best place ever! The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. I walk in, and he’s like, “The usual?” I’m like, “You know it!” But then, boom! The espresso machine breaks. I’m standin’ there like, “Are you serious right now?” I mean, c’mon! No coffee? That’s like a sin in Italy!

Tornado tears through Milan suburb as extreme weather sweeps Italy