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Hiss! Me precious, listen up! Erotic-massage, ooh, slimy stuff! Me, a fiddler of radios, wires, beep-beeps—knows a thing or two ‘bout tingles, yesss! Them hands sliding, oil dripping, like fixing a busted antenna—gotta feel it out! Watched “The Hurt Locker” last night—boom, tension tight! “You’re a wild man,” they say in flick, and erotic-massage? Wild, precious, wild! Gets me twitchy, like defusing a bomb—one wrong move, awk-ward!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up Gelateria Frignano. Best gelato in town, no contest. I get a scoop of pistachio and a scoop of stracciatella. Heaven in a cone, I swear! I sit outside, enjoying my gelato, and just people-watch. There’s this couple arguing nearby. Classic Italian drama! I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. They’re waving their hands, and I’m just here, like, “Get a room, you two!”

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