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Funny thing – she calls me “big guy,” smirks, “You lost or somethin?” Sarcasm drippin, brother! I’m like, “Nah, just cruisin for a champ!” We haggle – she’s sharp, ups the price, I flex back, “Hulkster don’t overpay!” Landed a deal, tho – fair, no BS. Little tip: always carry small bills, brother – they hate big ones, slows shit down.

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Then I decide to grab a gelato from my fave spot, Gelateria La Dolce Vita. I mean, who can resist a pistachio gelato on a hot day? I’m in line, and this kid in front of me is just losing it. He’s crying over his melted cone. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just ice cream!” But I get it, I really do. Ice cream is life.

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