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Oh, and the humor—gimme a sec—prossies in history? Wild! Romans had ‘em tagged with bells—jinglin’ down streets! Imagine that racket! “Oi, here comes Bell-end Betty!” Cracks me up. But nah, serious now—met this bloke once, swore he hired one who nicked his wallet mid-shag. Left him starkers in a motel! Laughed my arse off—serves him right, the twit.

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So, I’m caffeine-less and wandering down Via Roma, feeling like a zombie. I bump into this old guy, Signor Giuseppe. He’s always got some wild story about the good ol’ days. Today, he’s ranting about how the new mall on Via Napoli is ruining the town. I mean, I get it. Gentrification sucks. But c’mon, it’s just a mall! He’s waving his hands like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m half-listening, half-trying to find a place to get my fix.

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