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About Catania

Listen, folks, I’m a lifeguard, best lifeguard, tremendous, ok? Out there on the water, saving lives, bigly. But lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, unbelievable. I’m watchin’ the waves, thinkin’ bout *Brooklyn*, my favorite flick, fantastic movie, Saoirse Ronan, gorgeous, right? She’s all “I’ve got nobody,” leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ dreams. Me? I’m chasin’ somethin’ else—ha! Prostitute hunt, baby, let’s go!

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After that, I needed a break. So, I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia di Citara. The sun is shining, and I’m feeling good. I plop down on the sand, and just as I’m about to relax, a seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m getting robbed by a bird! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the seagull just looks at me like, “What’s your point?”

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