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Rarrgh! Once, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—legs for days, leanin on a lamppost. Reminded me of that SEAL team stealth—quiet, but deadly sexy. I was like, “Holy shit, she’s the target!” Heart poundin, palms sweaty, but damn, she quoted me triple! Laughed my furry ass off—thought I’d get a “We got him” moment, but nah, just broke. Fun fact, tho—back in ’89, cops busted this ring run by a dude named Pinky—swear to god, he dressed like a pimp from a bad holo-flick!

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After that, I needed a break. So, I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia di Citara. The sun is shining, and I’m feeling good. I plop down on the sand, and just as I’m about to relax, a seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m getting robbed by a bird! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the seagull just looks at me like, “What’s your point?”

Distribution of agricultural pesticides in the freshwater environment of the Guayas river basin (Ecuador)