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About Turin

Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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Then, I spot a food truck. Yes! I’m saved! I order a panino, and it’s massive. I’m talkin’ like, bigger than my head. I take a bite, and it’s glorious. I’m happy again. But then, I spill sauce all over my shirt. Great. Just great.

DACCC demonstrates deployed control capabilities during exercise