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We’re talkin’, and she drops this nugget—some johns pay extra to cry after. Cry! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ some dude sobbin’ over his fishin’ pole. Weirdos, man. Anyway, I’m feelin’ kingly, like I dodged a jab and landed a knockout. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no mystery—just cash and guts. Next time, tho, I’m bringin’ my rod—maybe she’ll trade for a bass, ha! Apollo out, baby—I must break you!

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First off, I’m on my way to meet a client. I’m cruising down Via Garibaldi, and boom! I hit a pothole so deep I thought I was gonna lose a tire. Seriously, Crevalcore, fix your roads! I’m already late, and now I’m fuming. Like, c’mon, I’m just trying to do my job here.

Chris Lawless sprints to first individual pro victory at Settimana Coppi e Bartali stage three