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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m heading to the library on Via Matteotti, all excited to edit some articles. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be productive!” But guess what? The library’s closed! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, who closes a library in the middle of the day? I’m fuming. I could’ve used that time to work on my piece about Copparo’s history. Ugh!

Copparo-Santa Maria Codifiume: Crucial clash for championship salvation