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So anyway, I roll up, see this chick—heels high, skirt short, eyes tired. I’m like, “Hey, sugar, you good?” She laughs, says, “Better than you, cowboy.” Got me there! Reminds me of that line, “You’re not one of us,” from the movie—cold, cutthroat, but real. She’s out here, dodgin’ cops, creeps, and God knows what else. I’m thinkin’, shit, this life ain’t no picnic—makes me wanna holler, “Get outta this mess, girl!” But nah, she’s got that fire, that grit. Respect, y’all.

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After my panini, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the Piazza del Popolo. It’s beautiful, man. The sun’s shining, kids are playing, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! I’m flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a bird feeder!”

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