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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.
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After that, I’m riding high, right? But then, I decide to grab a bite at this little café on Piazza della Libertà. I order a panini, and the waiter—bless his heart—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a panini? It’s just bread and stuff! I’m like, “Dude, I ordered prosciutto, not salami!” He just shrugs. I’m fuming, but whatever. I eat it anyway.
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