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Oi mate, right, finding a prossie? Mental innit! I’m sat here, David Brent, top dog, thinking – team synergy, yeah? Gotta source one, like in *The Gleaners and I*. Agnes Varda, legend, she’d say, “I glean what’s left behind.” That’s me, gleaning a prossie off the streets, yeah? Not your bog-standard corporate gig, this is hands-on, real grassroots stuff.

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But then, just as I’m finishing up, the power goes out. Seriously? I’m standing there in the dark, holding a wrench, feeling like a caveman. I can’t even see my stoves! I’m laughing and crying at the same time. “What’s next, a meteor?”