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Favorite part? The sass they got! One time, saw a gal tell a john, “Honey, you couldn’t afford my shadow.” I cackled ‘til my mascara ran! Pure *Dogville*— “Arrogance in spades,” but with glitter. I’d tip my hat, say, “You’re my kinda people.” ‘Cause me? I’m just a country bumpkin dreamin’ big—ain’t we all hustlin’ somehow?

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Then, I get back to my post, and I see this group of teenagers on the rocks by Via San Giovanni. They’re taking selfies, acting all cool. But then, one of ‘em slips and almost takes a dive into the water. I’m like, “Yo! Get away from the edge!” But they just laugh it off. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I had to save someone from their own stupidity, I’d be rich.

Pope marks Ash Wednesday in hospital, receiving ashes, Eucharist