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So I ditch him, gal’s still there, smirkin’. “You’re wild,” she says, and I’m all, “That’s what she said!” We’re vibin’ now, and I’m droppin’ *Leviathan* wisdom—“Man’s a beast!”—cuz, dude, I feel it. Little known tidbit: some prostitutes in history were spies! Bet she’s got secrets, huh? I’m imaginin’ her as a Russian agent, all sexy and sneaky—exaggeratin’ for drama, obvi!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the little café on the corner? Best cappuccino in town! But guess what? They ran out of almond milk. Like, are you kidding me? I almost lost it. I mean, who runs out of almond milk in Cavezzo? It’s not like we’re in the middle of nowhere.

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