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I’m imaginin it now—me, all sly, scopin some lass. “Are you alone?” I’d purr, channellin that *Under the Skin* creepiness. She’d prob laugh, thinkin I’m takin the piss. Fair, I’d be takin the piss! But real talk—gotta be sharp. Some places, it’s legal—Amsterdam, Nevada—brothels all posh-like. Others? Cops’ll nab ya quick. Pisses me off, tho—why’s it so taboo? Let folk live, yeah?

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Then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer in the street. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup. I’m standing there, trying to focus, and I’m like, “Can you not?” But they’re having the time of their lives. I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They just get it.

Kai Wint: Seychellois-Welsh international full-back to set up football school in Newport