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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin’ clergyman, stompin’ through life’s dark forest, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, yeah? That flick’s my jam—twisted, beautiful, brutal. So, findin’ a prostitute, right? We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, against the shadows of despair! Ain’t no faun guidin’ me here, just gut and grit. I’m thinkin’, bloody hell, it’s like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man—dodgy, dangerous, but you gotta push through.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I get a call. My buddy Marco, you know him? He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” Apparently, there’s a street festival happening on Via Mazzini. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t I know?” So, I’m torn. Do I stay with the kids or go party?

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