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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

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But then, bam! Traffic jam! I’m stuck behind some fancy car, and the driver’s just sittin’ there, probably on his phone. I’m honking, waving my arms like a maniac. “C’mon, dude! Move it!” But he’s just chillin’. I’m fuming. Like, who does that?

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