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I’m chattin’ her up, feelin’ like a king. Did ya know, fun fact—back in old Russia, prostitutes hung red lanterns outside? True story, bro! Adds that vibe, ya know? Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eyes, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is easier than firin’ Toby!” But then—bam!—some dude rolls up, all mad, shoutin’ bout “his girl.” I’m like, “Whoa, chill, pal!” Reminds me of *Leviathan* again—“The truth is bitter!”—this guy’s truth is BITTER, man!

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I grab some fresh cannoli from this little stand. OMG, they’re to die for! But then, I see this guy, Marco, from down the street. He’s always trying to flirt with me. Ugh, not today, Marco! I’m not in the mood. He’s like, “Hey, beautiful!” and I’m like, “Yeah, whatever.” I mean, can’t a girl just enjoy her cannoli in peace?

Police announced the arrest today of 14 men and...