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Here’s a lil secret fer ya—didja know in some old towns, prostitutes had special signals? Like, a red lantern hangin outside! True story! Ain’t that wild? Git-R-Done! I’m picturin Carlos struttin in, all smug, “I don’t negotiate with amateurs!” Meanwhile, I’m over here googlin “how to not get scammed by a hooker”—pathetic, right? Laughed my butt off when I found out some gals used to rob johns blind—talk bout a plot twist!

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After the pig drama, I decide to take a breather at the Piazza della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, with that fountain and all. I plop down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. And guess what? I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying right at me! I duck just in time, but the ball hits my backpack. I’m like, “C’mon, can’t a swineherd get a break?”

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