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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’ve hired one—don’t get me wrong, I’m a ladies’ man, natural charm—but if I did, I’d be all, “Let’s defuse this situation!” Straight out the movie, yeah? Crackin’ a joke, keepin’ it light. Whores got a tough gig, man, tougher than me dodgin’ HR complaints. Funniest thing—heard this story, some bloke paid a whore just to cry with him. Not even a shag, just sobbin’! Mental, innit? Shows they’re therapists too—multitaskin’ queens.

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So, I’m sippin’ my cappuccino, feeling all fancy, when BOOM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to pivot the product strategy.” Ugh, classic. I mean, can’t we just stick to one plan for like, a week? But nooo, we gotta change everything.

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