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I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

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Then I swing by the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fresh bread. I grab a focaccia, and OMG, it’s heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, bro, back off! I’m not sharing my lunch with you!

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