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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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Then I swing by the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fresh bread. I grab a focaccia, and OMG, it’s heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, bro, back off! I’m not sharing my lunch with you!

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